That kind of violence is not what I will be dealing with, but the kind that manifests itself with results of hospital visits or the law officer's intervention.
Let me state upfront that I am against ALL forms of violence, whether it be political, child, IPV, verbal, economic or otherwise.
IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is prevalent in all stratum of society. One's income streams does not exclude the gravity of the problem.
Some years ago my next door neighbour's son was married in a beautiful Hindu wedding ceremony. She was a stay-at-home wife typical of the tradition that obtained at the time.
Soon one could hear the sounds of beatings as if the wonder-bride was relegated to being a "tassa drum." This continued for some months until the wonder-bride jumped through the bedroom window during a beating, landed on the kitchen roof, and made good her escape. I have not laid my eyes on her since.
The causal factor in the relationship I later learnt was the gentleman's mother. His working in the grocery all day and the daughter-in-law not bowing to her mother-in-law's every whim and fancy had her "carrying news" on the wonder-bride. These tidbits the mother told her son of which he believed, hence the severe beatings.
A female calypsonian once used these lyrics in her ditty. "Dog does run away, cat does run away, so woman put some wheels on your heels". I endorse that point 100%. A woman is God designed and God created to be a HELPER for man. Not a servant but an equal partner to assist him and he her in THEIR journey across the lifespan.
I grew up in an era where male dominance was still being promoted. But my father said to us his offspring that our mother was the Queen of the home. At that time I did not sense it but it grew on me when I had my own home.
Some women that are in a IVP situation are bound in her space by the cultural patterns that obtain in their society. Who can she turn to if she vacates her space? But I say this the economic potential of these countries could explode once these women are freed from their chattel existence.
The major factor in the IVP thing is man's longing to be "macho". But that "macho" lifestyle goes against all forms of co-habitation.
I lived with a lady who bore four children for me who was in a IVP situation before we met. I later learnt from her during our many bedroom talks [she was afraid to speak elsewhere of it] of the many atrocities that was she submitted to.
I will draw one example from our journey together to illustrate how devastating an effect on a woman's psyche or for that matter anyone IVP effects.
I was a cigarette smoker at the time, and while lying on the bed together having a casual conversation I would obviously reach to the head-board to get my smoking paraphernalia. Every time I did this she would flinch. It took her about five years to release from her mind that whenever I raised my hand was not to hit her.
We underestimate as men the effect that IVP has on our ladies and by extension our offspring. This fighting to control is never healthy.
I once read a case history of a couple having problems and one night the husband choked and raped her in the presence of their 12 year-old son. He took up a poker and struck him on the head she got up and kicked him all over, grabbed her purse and boy an ran.
I sense you will say that women are IVP perpetrators too. It is on both sides of the divide, but it leans heavily in favour of the woman. Protect them and our children. I will write on female partner violence down the road
Time to stop the violence.
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